Menopause

My Experience:

On December 2005 I had my last period. I didn’t even realize I was going through menopause until my husband mentioned that I had not had a period for three months. I was so busy during that time, that I had not paid attention to myself. During my next visit to my GYN on March 2006, the doctor asked when I had my last period and then it dawned on me it was “December 2005, maybe I’m menopausal”. I had not felt any of the horrors that I had heard from other woman or even of my mothers’ horrible experience with menopause, or so "I thought".  My mother went through what I referred to as  a“crazy” phase during her menopause– she was also going through a divorce in 1978, she was 53 (this was a stress factor). She suffered of heavy bleeding for days on end, anxieties and many of the other symptoms. I am almost sure she was not aware of what was going on with her during that time. I remember feeling so bad for her and all I wanted to do was make her better. If only I would have known then what I know now, I might have been able to help her so much better. It did not occur to me then that years down the line I would be going through my own experience with menopause. One thing being, I sure did not expect to be going through menopause at 47, since my mother experienced hers at 53.

I didn’t get the typical symptoms of perimenopause or so I thought. The only thing that concerned me was that when I turned 41, I was getting chronic headaches. I suffered with headaches since I was a little girl but they were intensifying with age. The headaches made my life intolerable. I would be out of commission for days.  I had CT scans and MRI’s but nothing would come up and I should be thankful for that.  My headaches were not considered migraine headaches by my rheumatologist but chronic headaches. So my doctor prescribed Maxalt, M LT .5mg and it works wonders. I had a rheumatologist because I had been diagnosed with osteo-arthritis when I was 38. Then in 2000, I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I read an article that they could be related to menopause. I personally did not see a relationship between them because I thought osteo-arthritis was hereditary.

Well, first I heard that my period would get very irregular. This didn’t happen to me. I had my regular period in December 2005 on schedule and to this day I have not had another period.  “Puff” it just disappeared. Then once my periods had stopped, I became aware of the fact that I was menopausal, I began to notice that I would get really hot every night at 11PM and as quickly as I felt as if I was on fire, the hot flash would stop. It felt as if a volcano had errupted inside of me. This just lasted a split second every night at the same time. I did not sweat. I still go through what I understand now is a “hot flash” and still don’t break a sweat. Some days I get two of them a day. In order to control the “hot flashes”, I have discovered this wonderful natural supplement which eases the hot flash and is sold over the counter. You take one pill at night. It also calms you and helps you get a restful sleep. This natural supplement (or natural estrogen) helps stabilize your hormones and gives energy needed during the day.

I went through a period of time where I was craving sweets. Something I never really liked or enjoyed. I would go out and buy a whole apple struddle, which was about 12 inches long and finish it in three days. I did this for about two months and noticed that I started to gain weight. I decided to immediately put an end to the apple struddle, sad to say, because I thought it was delicious. 

The other symptom which I have noticed is that my level of energy is not the same. I am still very active in comparison to other friends my age. Nevertheless, I get  physically tired easily. When I was younger I would never feel tired.  I think the difference is, because I was so active and I did so much to keep myself busy with work, I would always find a way to do some kind of exercise, like ballet in my apartment. I would roller blade, I would go biking, hiking and danced as much as I could. I even tried fishing, but I found it to be too passive. I could keep on going all day and all night and yet needed little sleep. Now, I need longer hours of sleep, at least 8 hours of sleep. Last year, my husband made me aware of the fact that I started snoring. Well, I immediately went to my physician to get checked. I even went as far as going to a sleep clinic to get evaluated for sleep apnea. After the evaluation (you have to spend the night at the clinic) I went back to the sleep specialist and she told me that as woman become older we become more like men. Well, that explained a lot of things. Like my stray eyebrows  that started to grow on my chin. This was truly aggravating!  I took care of that one – I went to have them removed with laser because I got tired of plucking those little suckers. 

Emotionally, I think I have become more in balance with my emotions. I am rediscovering me. I have many interest to keep me intellectually busy and wanting more. I want to start hobbies I stopped a while back, i.e. drawing, gardening and exercising. Cooking has also been another hobby I truly enjoy. I am more aware of my health and my life-style. I am going through the "post-menopausal zest" as Margaret Mead said. Having heart palpitations, hot flashes and chills and cycles of laughing just because, grab me by surprise at times. There are nights that I lose sleep and feel tired and edgy the following day. I have come to realize that my body is my temple and my teacher, and it warns me to cut back on obligations and limit contact with people who drain me emotionally of my peace. I refer to these people as emotional vampires.  I want and need PEACE in my life now.

Now that I have researched more on the topic I understand many things I didn’t know about menopause.  I never thought that at 47 I would be going through menopause. I was expecting to have periods at least until my mid 50’s like my mother and that it would be as horrible as hers. I consider I have been very lucky and I realize there is nothing to fear, therefore I am loving my new life without a period and everything that comes attached to it.

During these years of trying to understand myself and research the female physiology and psyche I have come across a couple of good sources which have helped me go through this new chapter in my life. I have become a stronger woman and as a matter of fact I now embrace menopause.